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“Woman, get me a beer! While you’re there, make me a sandwich.”
While these statements are obviously misogynistic stereotype statements, they exaggerate a real thought process that men in the world (and many in the church community) hold toward being the ‘man of the house.’ I have to admit that I was looking forward to being the head of the house and reaping all of the benefits that my dominant position held. I mean, who doesn’t want to be placed in a position of honor, respect and power, right?
So here I am a newly married man of God. Perfect in every way possible of course and trying to deal with my ohh so imperfect wife. (Life can be so trying when others need to get their stuff straight can’t it?) Here I am a newly married man crying out (complaining) daily to God concerning my wife’s inability to be as godly as I am when all of a sudden I hear a voice speaking to my spirit as clear as day tell me, “I DON’T CARE!” My first thought of course was, “Get behind me Satan.” Of course this couldn’t be from God. God would never speak like this, especially not to a godly man like me. Clearing my throat, I immediately return to my most holy attempt to intercede for my wife to ensure that she maintains her salvation and again I hear, “I DON’T CARE!” I pause for a moment and listen. As I do the voice continues. “I’m not worried about what your wife is doing. I have called you to love your wife like I loved the Church. I came to serve and to die for the church. When you begin to love your wife like I love the church; when you begin to serve her and put her before yourself, then she will trust you enough to follow you. At that point she will come beside you and be your helpmate and you will not have to worry about the things you feel like you are missing from her.”
It seems that Ephesians 5:25 says exactly that; “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Here I sit, blown away with the revelation that being the head of the household means giving everything of myself and placing my family’s needs before my own. Not exactly what I had in mind when I entered into the sacred bond of marriage.
“I would love to say that I immediately set down all of my needs and desires and never walked in the flesh when dealing with my wife again but that isn’t the way things really work, at least not with me.” – Rob Hopfer @MultiplyingMen
The truth is that it took many more nights and days struggling and fighting with my wife simply because I refused to move in the word of God and trust that He was going to intercede on my behalf by giving us peace in our marriage. As He always does, God came to me in my brokenness. I can relate it to the statement from Jesus to Saul; ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’ It’s in those moments that I understand the love of God the most. In those times of correction there are no accusation, no judgment; just a father coming to the aid of his son, giving him wisdom and direction in love. Trust Me son. Look at everything I’ve done. I’ve created the heavens and the earth. Look how far I’ve brought you. Remember who I am. Remember what I’ve sacrificed for you already.
OK Lord! I surrender.
It amazes me how it’s never anything I do but what Christ does through me that changes who I am. In the infancy of my walking out this verse I began to witness firsthand the word of God change a heart……mine. Every time I made a decision to seek God instead of voice my displeasure in a situation He changed my heart and my character a bit more. Each time I believed I was wronged and decided to forgive and not push the issue He added to me self control. The times when I placed one of my needs behind one of my wife’s, my needs were taken care in a manner greater than I had asked for. Click to Tweet: “I think most importantly, in those times that I admitted I had hurt her and I was wrong instead of trying to be right, he restored trust and love in my wife.” – Rob Hopfer @MultiplyingMen
See, serving isn’t about a beer or a sandwich. It’s about a heart and a motive. The most important things that you can serve your wife and everyone you come into contact for that matter are the fruits of the Spirit.
As men of God we need to place Him first and trust that His word will never return void. We only have to look at Jesus to understand what He was serving up; love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. He served up the truth and in doing so spread faith, hope and love.
That’s what being a man of God is about. Tweet This:
“That’s what ‘Multiplying Men’ is all about. It’s about serving others in love so that as we sow and water, God will come in, bless it and give the increase.” I’m looking forward to serving with each one of you men of God. God bless.
And I leave you with these words, “…but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
Member of Church 212